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David J Steele
- The Verbal Pause
Knowledge Base
The Verbal Pause
The Monthly “Steal” by David Steele
The Monthly “Steal” is a bit of relevant technology information intertwined with personal thoughts, opinions and some real life experiences. It is written by David “Steele” and is free, hence a “steal” from a “Steele”.
Over the years, I have taught several clinics, lunch and learns, training seminars and presentations from web strategies to network security and HIPAA compliance training. Our sister company, PRworks, a communications and public relations company, pushes me to continually work to improve my presentation skills. I have been working with Bob Saline, CEO of PRworks, for over 15 years and I value his honest, experienced and strategic comments. I want the feedback so I can improve, because I have sat through some agonizing presentations. But, sometimes feedback is painful, like when I found out I had a verbal pause. At first I didn’t believe it or even understand what Bob was saying because I knew I didn’t have whatever Bob said I had. Bob then softly tried to break my pride and told me that most people don’t even know they have a verbal pause. SO, I asked, what is my verbal pause? “So”. So what? “SO” is your verbal pause, David”. So then I paused to comprehend. Bob explains that when I’m between topics or getting ready to move to a different step, I start the section by saying “SO”.
CONSEQUENTLY, I was made aware of my verbal pause and at the next event I started catching myself verbally pausing all the time. That was a hard habit to break and the hardest part was not replacing the verbal pause with something else. I asked Bob what I should do and he said, “Just shut up, David” – more honest feedback from the heart.
THEREFORE, I’m now on the path to quietly pausing when I’m gathering my thoughts. As I get older, the pause sometimes is lengthy and I hear jeopardy theme music in my head. I found that replacing my “SO” with “’Do you have any questions?” gives me time to think and is usually is a good time to pause. I was so proud of myself the first time I tried the question in place of “SO”. I answered the question, then continued with, “SO, let’s move on”. BUT, now I find myself listening to other speakers, teachers, preachers and politicians to see if they have a verbal pause. When I hear one, it’s like a large bell going off in my head. I start marking down a dashe each time I hear the pause and counting them like I will get a prize at the end. I blame Bob Saline.
SUBSEQUENTLY, I’m going to continue to work on my #Silence and let you know – It’s OK to shut up. It’s like white space on your home page and you know that too many words can be bad.
HENCE, do you have a verbal pause? Common pauses include so, um, ah and you know? Find a Bob Saline that you respect to give you honest feedback and hold you accountable. Also – ask for feedback. I have a rule of thumb that has helped me with comments or suggestions. If someone makes a comment that offends me, then usually it’s true and I just don’t want to admit it, so I work on it. Other times, you know the person is just being, well, stupid, and I move on. We might laugh about it over dinner. Be careful, pride driven presenters are shadowed by humility, not knowledge or experience. It’s a great time to build a relationship with a new prospect. If you are interested in learning more about Intrada, give me a call or email me today.
David Steele, Partner / Webmaster
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570-321-7370
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